Binned

And I remember
Our last summer.


Me waiting for you
To grow into you
The re-birthed you
With the new hair
Adult asymmetric
With that new walk
Professional mimic
With your new talk
From lips ceramic
So, not from you
Not with the heat
From the meat
Of the lover you


I think I knew
That it was coming
That you
Were  thinking
Of Leaving
Me...
Of forcing me
To go grow
Another branch
And to go grow it
On another tree.


I never would have
Stopped believing
Thought of leaving
I still can't,
I can't manage
Through tears
And perhaps
Through years
As autumnal leaves
Swiftly swirling
In the chill
Of our winters grieving
I can't manage
That cleaving


You see my essence
Gone witching
Wanders with you
And your presence
It presents
Your nose
And your eyes
And your breasts
And when in deep
We talk it through
We work things out
We start anew.


But how could you?


You left or rather
You began, renewed.
You grew a fresh limb
Which sprouted from
The tear in the bark
That gash so stark
That I left as I fell
On that fell day


What are you now?
And who am I?


Am I he?


The one
Who waited patiently
For the axe
For you to send me away
To graft to another
Perhaps...
Someday...
Or to lie, dank, sodden
Being scratched at
Being fed upon
And glowing rotten.


In those final weeks
I was working on us
Making captured moments
Play a slideshow,
Now a freaks sideshow
Displaying lost love


I bought you a car
So as to free you
Gave you my gear
So that you could grow
Separately, independently
Into the mountaineer
That I helped you to be


And you? What about you?
Were you thinking of me?
Working for us?
Or, as I think likely
Were you thinking of you?
Planning your future?
Your future less me...


In those final days
The finality wasn't clear
And I spent my time
Stupidly, Like a cow
Approaching slaughter day
Wide eyed and afraid
But not of the obvious
Just of the unknown
And you took my hand
And led me to a dark space
And in that place
You shot sharp words
Into my by now
Freaking face
And I fell
And I begged
But to no avail
As For you,
It and I were dead.


And I changed
A parchment I became
That cow's skin pulled tight
A skin that we had lived in
With marks in ink
That we made on
Recording the days of
Our time, now gone


Fourteen seasons
All you dismissed
And without reason
And I was drying out
I became crisp
And you took that chance
And crumpled me
In your now powerful fist
And I, I am thrown away


And now you don't see me.
As I am binned
And I rest inside
My metal box
No home now
For your heart is fled
And with it I shed
The reason
Our strength


Your heart which
With mine
In days past
Bled out and
Our blood combined
Of that red wine
We drank deep draughts
And I laughed with you
At the joy
In the craft
Of our love


But now I am cowed
I am that cow
Docile and dense
Chewing the crud
Of two lives
Who camp now
In not one
But in two tents
And I am left
No longer the lover
With bounding credence
But with a notion
With a swelling commotion
With synapses intense


I'm left incensed